It gets better. You will not feel this inexorable poison flooding your veins for the rest of your life. It does get better. But then it gets worse. One day you’re feeling buoyant and happy and the next you’ll wonder how you’ll persuade your muscles to propel you out of bed. It will be as if the pain never really did leave you, but rather simply took a break to regain its strength. You’ll wonder where the fucking light switch is when you need it and you’ll wonder how in the hell people put up with you anymore and you’ll bury the feeling that you’re really actually dying underneath piles and piles of sweat soaked sheets smelling of sex and silence. And all at once, after the sex and the cigarettes you’ll never actually smoke and the room full of crumpled litanies, you’ll feel okay again. You’ll find solace in the scent of his skin on yours and the taste of the fall days rolling by in a haze of vanilla lattes and in the way you’ll fall into an idea, running for years with it clutched within your desperate fingers. You’ll be okay until you’re not. Savor your fall days and lattes and ideas. They’ll be there until they’re not.
When you first kissed
Me I had this crazy
Thought that you tasted
Like dust and I was
Comforted because that’s
How I imagine my
Books that have kept
Me sane taste.
College is freaking great, but sometimes we are just not in the mood.
1. Waiting for the professor to get to class.
I’m sorry, last time I checked I have to be here on time, I’m about to dock your participation points.
2. Getting literally every due date on the syllabus moved around.
WHY EVEN GIVE US ONE?
3. Getting an assignment that wasn’t on the syllabus at all.
That’s cool. I don’t have a life or anything.
4. Getting half run over by people on bikes on campus.
The side walk is for walking, slow the heck down Lance Armstrong.
5. Having a professor hold you late in class.
Yeah, I mean I was really hoping I’d have to sprint across campus to my next class. I definitely needed the exercise.
6. Loud people at the library having a raging study session with their friends.
Why. Just why.
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